Silent rejection breaks the fragile male down so easily…

And men say women are too sensitive.

First message sent at: May 26th 7:57

Last message sent at: May 26th 8:07

This took place over TEN MINUTES.


Working on my paper is hard on both of us.


I took my girlfriend to an improv show the other night and during intermission we were passionately arguing over whether half a 5 Hour Energy shot would give you 2.5 hours of energy or 5 hours of half-assed energy so we turned around to ask the opinions of the three people behind us and one of them said “Are all your arguments like this because we heard you in the lobby earlier fighting over the right way to pronounce ‘egg’?”




"i try to steal from people but i keep accidentally assassinating them" a novel by me

I am slightly afraid.

"i forgot to mention i was playing a video game please don’t call the police" a sequel also by me


Rumoured to be one of the seven gates of hell, the Stull Cemetery in the tiny 20 citizen village ten miles west and thirteen miles east of Topeka, Kansas. With two terrifying tragedies including a farmer who found his son’s burnt body and a missing man being hung from a tree in the town, there are more rumours that claim “the devil himself holds courts with his worshippers there”

`Guy 1: no, niggah, gay bros can raise babies. Look at that warthog motherfucker and that ferret thing that raised Simba. And that niggah become king of motherfucking Africa.


you see, it’s a metaphor

you nominate Leonardo DiCaprio for an Oscar but you don’t let him win





My dad was telling me about these girls at his old college who invented a nail polish that paints on clear, and if you stir your drink with your finger with the nail polish on, it will react with the “Date Rape” drug and turn red.

Dude. It’s genius.


I saw this before and didn’t reblog it because it didn’t have anything to say how but now that there is a link saying how I wil reblog it.